I figured it out

I finally figured out what I want my goal to be for this year. It is something that is going to be way hard for me and I have no idea how I am even going to reach it but I am going to try.
I want to stop yelling. I have been thinking and thinking on how in the world I am going to accomplish this. Sometimes I feel like all I do all day is yell. I yell to get my point across. I yell when I am upset. I yell when I want to get someones attention. I yell (you get the point I am sure).

When I first got it in my head that this was going to be my goal for the year my thoughts were immediately turned to a book I have been reading called He did Deliver Me from Bondage. It uses the 12 step program (modified with LDS scriptures) to help people overcome addiction. The very first paragraph of the book talks about how you promise yourself that you will never do something again (yelling is actually one of the things listed) and then no matter how sincere you are in that promise your life repeats itself and you get caught in a cycle of repentance and relapse- you are in bondage. That is so true of me. Every day I think this is going to be the day that I stop yelling. This is going to be the day that I am patient and kind and long suffering and that I will deal with my kids in a calm and productive way and then every day I fail. I haven't read the whole book but what I have read so far talks about admitting that we ourselves are powerless and nothing without God and that with His strength we can do all things. It quotes this scripture- Mosiah 29:20- But behold, he did deliver them because they did humble themselves before him; and because they cried mightily unto him he did then deliver them out of bondage; and thus doth the Lord work with his power in all cases among the children of men, extending the arm of mercy towards them that did put their trust in him.

I love how it says in all cases. There isn't any case too big or too small for His power as long as we put our trust in Him. I know that I need His help and that I obviously can't figure this out on my own. The tricky part is figuring out how to totally turn it over to Him. I have been asking Him to help me figure out what steps I need to take to reach my goal and I have started to feel the promptings of the spirit. One thing that I have started to do is count how many times I yell in a day. It has kind of been like when you have the hiccups and someone tells you to tell them the next time you are going to hiccup and then your hiccups go away. Having it in my mind that I need to keep an actual tally of how much I yell has made me yell less. Yesterday I yelled four or five times and I only completely lost it once.

I have had a scripture from Luke hanging on my bathroom mirror and on my front door for over a year that says "In your patience posses ye your soul." If you look in the footnotes it says patience equals self mastery. In Doctrine and Covenants there is another scripture that says a similar thing. In section 101 versus 37-38 it says "Therefore, care not for the body, neither the life of the body: but care for the soul, and for the life of the soul. And seek for the face of the Lord always, that in patience ye may possess your souls, and ye shall have eternal life. " The life of our soul is directly linked to the level of self mastery we have and in order to have self mastery we have to seek for the face of the Lord. Meaning put our trust in Him. I think that without self-mastery it becomes hard to accomplish anything else in our lives.

There is another scripture in 2nd Peter Chapter 1 it talks about how to faith you add virtue, and to virtue knowledge; and to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; and to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. So if this was a to do list- my list would be hung up somewhere between knowledge and temperance. So in order to move on in my progression I have got to get this patience thing figured out.
Wish me luck!