Wake UP!

One of Travis' cousins (who I consider a dear friend) started a blog encouraging members of the church to get involved politically! I am so excited to read what she has to say and so happy to have been able to spend some time with her and her husband in Washington DC at the Restoring Honor Rally.

Here is a link to her blog- her first post is AMAZING!!!! I can't wait to read more!!!!

http://wakeuplds.blogspot.com/

More pictures from Trek

Cutest Pioneer ever!
Allias and his "family"

Working hard. He looks a little more like an outlaw then a pioneer in this photo! Getting a massage after a hard day of pushing. What a nice Ma!

"Family Portrait"

They had a family reunion last week but Allias was sick and couldn't go. He was dissapointed. He loved his family and the trek.

knowing

Having a child with mental illness is super hard. Like many things it is one of those situations that you can't really understand unless you live it day in and day out. I don't expect anyone to really know what we are going through. I actually don't even expect them to try. I even recognize that I don't truly understand what it is like for Tyler and that quite possibly it may be harder on him then it is on us.
Despite all of the mixed emotions and uncertainty there are some things I understand with absolute clarity. I know that Heavenly Father knows me and that He knows Tyler. My dependence on the Lord is real. I have been humbled in ways I didn't think were possible. I have cried out to the Lord and sometimes I have just cried. I have had my prayers answered and I have felt the love of the Lord and I have seen the "multitude of His tender mercies" continually. We have been blessed with so many Christlike people in our lives that have reached out their arms and hands in support of my son and my family in the most desperate of times.
I don't know what the years ahead hold for Tyler. Honestly I don't know what the days ahead hold for him. I can only continue to hope and to pray and to love. It isn't easy and I don't do it perfectly. I really struggle to even do it well sometimes but I am trying.
*thank you Kevin for this picture- it is a treasure

Summer so Far

Having no camera is lame. Most of these pictures I stole from other people because my kids just happened to be in the pictures. It will be a little like the game Where's Waldo but I promise you they are there somewhere.
So far this summer.....
Molly got a haircut

As you can see she was in desperate need of one!
Kailyn and I hung out at the pool with friends.


Allias went on Trek (had an amazing spiritual experience)









Kailyn spent a week away from home and then preformed in the Promised Land Pageant (had an amazing spiritual experience)
I used Allias' camera to take some adorable pictures of Kailyn in her Nephite outfit at the pageant but as soon as we got home he left for scout camp and while he was there he deleted them. I am not even kidding when I say that I totally bawled like a baby when I found out. Here she is in her pioneer outfit though. So happy the Judd girls were able to loan her their trek clothes!

I only was able to talk to Kailyn once or twice while she was gone because they were so busy but every time I did she sounded like she was glowing. She told me she started crying when all the children got to go up and touch the hands of the Savior. She is totally ready to do it again next year! I really hope we can all go as a family next time.




Allias also went to scout camp. You would think since he deleted my pictures from the pageant we would have some super fantastic pictures from scout camp to make up for it but nope- he didn't take any (he only took videos of boys being stupid). He hurt his wrist the week before he left so he couldn't swim or do some of the other activities but he still had a good time.

And last but certainly not least we got to be models for a photography group! So much fun. You can see all the pictures here.

Trek

Allias left this morning for the pioneer trek. He had a list of very specific items he was allowed to bring and everything had to fit in a 5 gallon bucket.
Sometime today he was assigned to a family with a Ma and Pa and siblings. He and his new "family" will push a handcart filled with all their supplies across the "plains" of Virginia. Three and a half days out in the wilderness, walking 6-7 miles a day. I am pretty sure there is even going to be a river crossing. He will spend each night sleeping under the stars. Travis and I were originally going to be a Ma and Pa but it didn't work out with our schedules. I really hope we get another chance someday. I was totally bummed this morning when they all rolled out and I didn't get to go.

I have to admit he makes a pretty cute pioneer

I told Allias three things before he left. 1st- the last time the leaders were up there scoping out the trail they saw a bear. 2nd- Friday it is supposed to be 96 degrees and HUMID and 3rd- bring honor to your name.
I really do hope he has a great time and doesn't get eaten by a bear.

I am Thankful Day 22

Good thing I listed several things in day 20 huh. (sorry this ended up so long- I tend to get a bit carried away)

I often struggle to sit through three hours of church. I tend to go to Sacrament Meeting and then Sunday School and sit in the hall reading my scriptures during Relief Society. I realized this Sunday how bummed out I am at myself for missing most of the Joseph Smith lessons.

I totally remember being sooooo excited when I found out we would be studying the teachings of Joseph Smith for two yeas and I know when I have read the lessons before hand and gone to class I have enjoyed it. I can't believe we only have a few lessons left.

Sunday evening I opened up the Joseph Smith manual and read these words; "The First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles have established the Teachings of the Presidents of the Church series to help you deepen your understanding of the restored gospel and draw closer to the Lord through the teachings of latter-day Presidents of the Church."
I have decided to use the Joseph Manual for my personal study and to make sure I am in Relief Society each week.

I am so grateful for Joseph Smith. I can't imagine what it must have been like for him at 14 years old to have to explain to people that he had seen Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. To know that he couldn't deny what had taken place even in the face of so much persecution and opposition. To be called a liar. Remember when you were 14? The most important thing was to fit in- to be accepted. And here was this teenager reviled against and treated with total prejudice and even though this treatment caused him great sorrow he never denied what he knew to be true.
I am grateful that through the prophet Joseph Smith The Church of Jesus Christ was once again established on the earth. I am grateful that sacred truths and Priesthood keys were brought to light after years of spiritual darkness. I am grateful that Joseph Smith was able to bring forth and translate the Book of Mormon and that he was willing to seal his testimony with his blood. He was 38 years old.

As recorded in Doctrine and Covenants 135:1-6, John Taylor, while serving as a member of the Quorum of the Twelve, wrote: "To seal the testimony of this book and the Book of Mormon, we announce the martyrdom of Joseph Smith the Prophet, and Hyrum Smith the Patriarch. They were shot in Carthage jail, on the 27th of June, 1844, about five o'clock p.m., by an armed mob--painted black--of from 150 to 200 persons. Hyrum was shot first and fell calmly, exclaiming: I am a dead man! Joseph leaped from the window, and was shot dead in the attempt, exclaiming: O Lord my God! They were both shot after they were dead, in a brutal manner, and both received four balls."

"Joseph Smith, the Prophet and Seer of the Lord, has done more, save Jesus only, for the salvation of men in this world, than any other man that ever lived in it. In the short space of twenty years, he has brought forth the Book of Mormon, which he translated by the gift and power of God, and has been the means of publishing it on two continents; has sent the fulness of the everlasting gospel, which it contained, to the four quarters of the earth; has brought forth the revelations and commandments which compose this book of Doctrine and Covenants, and many other wise documents and instructions for the benefit of the children of men; gathered many thousands of the Latter-day Saints, founded a great city, and left a fame and name that cannot be slain. He lived great, and he died great in the eyes of God and his people; and like most of the Lord's anointed in ancient times, has sealed his mission and his works with his own blood; and so has his brother Hyrum. In life they were not divided, and in death they were not separated!"

Cuteness

My boys recently got home from youth conference. They had an amazing time and I loved the car ride home with five teenage boys. It was so fantastic to hear all the things they loved about their experience. Tyler's friend who isn't a member of our church but went to the conference said he is going to read the Book of Mormon now. He even got up during testimony meeting and told everyone how the things he had learned and felt had really touched him.
Both of my boys bore their testimonies as well and Allias cried during his.
Tyler and Allias both told me that they really enjoyed the testimony of another boy in our ward Oran Rose. As Tyler was explaining to me how much it affected him he said, "He had me at families are forever."

I have updates/pictures etc- hopefully I will get to them tomorrow.

What I'm fighting for

Sometimes when I hear a song the lyrics just really hit home. This song is by a band called Matisyahu. They are a Reggae group and the lead singer is Jewish. What I love about his music is all of the songs have so much meaning and history. For the past month or so if you call me this is the song you will hear as you wait for me to answer.
Every time I hear it reminds me to keep things in perspective. It makes me grateful that I have a knowledge of the fullness of the gospel and that through the gift of the Holy Ghost I can discern good from evil. It reminds me to go to the temple and do the work that unites me to the past. It reminds me that I am an heir to the promises made to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. And even though it is not written in the lyrics of the song- it reminds me that the Jewish people will someday come to a knowledge that Jesus is the Christ and that they are His chosen people.

I am so grateful for all the Lord has done for me and for the compassion he has shown me.
Christ said- "In the world ye shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)
We are not alone.
"And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities."
(Alma 7:11-12)

Here is the music and lyrics to What I'm Fighting For by Matisyahu



What I'm fighting for
Is worth far more than silver and gold
What I'm fighting for
Is a chance to unite the past
When a brothers coming home at last
Fighting together for lives
Sons and daughters of Abraham
Lay down to a higher command
Don't be tricked by the acts of man
Gods wisdom revealed in a holy plan
A chance to unite the past
When a brothers coming home at last
Fighting together for lives
To Zion we roll and we're not all alone
Unite and you will find
What I'm fighting for
Is worth far more than silver and gold
What I'm fighting for
Is a chance to unite the past
When a brothers coming home at last
Fighting together for lives
To Zion we roll and we're not all alone
Unite and you will find
What I'm fighting for
-Matisyahu

so much to say

Since I didn't want my 100th post to be about Idol I figured I better post something today. I had some adorable pictures of my niece in her DUKE jersey that I wanted to share but unfortunately her daddy didn't appreciate them as much as I did and deleted them from my camera. Don't worry I have plans to take more. I also taught her how to say GO DUKE and DUKE is #1. Much better then hearing her say Duke is poopy. Her dad taught her that. I wonder how he feels sleeping in Allias' bedroom with Duke memorabilia all around him. Maybe I should get some pictures of that too.

Anyway on to my 100th post. I have been reading the guest posts over at Mormon Mommy Blogs about raising teenagers and wow there are some brilliant, insightful moms out there. I encourage every one who is the mother of teenagers or may someday be to check it out. The post there today was exactly what I needed to lift me up and give me the courage to face another day.

A lot of you know how much we struggle with our oldest son. I often wonder if anyone really understands what we are going through though. If anyone can really imagine the anguish I feel over this child. Tyler is Bipolar. This is his 7th diagnosis but the 1st that actually fits but I am no longer shocked by how little mental illness is understood- even by those who claim to be "professionals". We are in the process of looking yet again for someone to help Tyler in his struggle.
I have learned many lessons from being his mother and hope to learn many more. I hope I am learning all my Heavenly Father wants me to. I think I know maybe just a little of what He feels when His children make choices that drive them away from happiness. It kind of feels like someone is jumping up and down on your chest. Breathing becomes difficult and sometimes even standing up straight is hard to do. And as much as you are angry and hurt and bewildered your heart just wants to burst from the love you feel for this crazy, defiant, reckless child who seems determined to ruin his own life. You want to shake him and scream in his face one minute and the next you wish he would just let you hold him in your arms. You wonder why he can't just learn from the mistakes you made? Why does he need to make his own? And there is so much regret. So much looking back and wondering what more could have been done. It is so hard to let go. To let God's will be done.
I know that Jesus Christ atoned for this child of mine. I know that He is the only one who truly knows my child and that He is the one that can help him but it is sooo hard to let that knowledge govern the choices you make every day, every hour, every minute.
When Tyler was about 3 he got the stomach flu. It was Halloween. Our home teachers called and asked if they could come visit. I told them Tyler was sick. They asked if they could come and give him a blessing. Travis was inactive and the time and I had been a member about five months.
I could go into a HUGE long history of all the medical problems Tyler had as an infant/toddler but that would take more time then you or I have. Let's just say he was a very sick baby, but by the time he was three he was doing a lot better physically but continuing to experience emotional difficulties and had trouble sleeping. He was going to a preschool for children with special needs and we were struggling to find answers.
My home teachers came over and laid their hands upon his head and gave him a blessing. In all the blessings members of my family have been given over the years there are only one or two things I really remember. I have remembered this particular thing that was said to my son when he was just three years old over and over again. "We live in a day of great medical and scientific advances. New discoveries are being made all the time, but we also live in a day when the Priesthood reigns on the earth and some day all the problems you face will be on the back burner of your life."
I am holding onto that promise.
I am working on the only salvation I have any control over (my own) and trying to be happy and faithful in spite of my trials. I am so thankful for my AMAZING family and friends and for my Savior. I know that His strength is sufficient for all who lay their burdens at His feet.

How thankful I am for this amazing Gospel.

I forgot

two really important things in my last post.......
I am reading Shakespeare. I am going to try and read of much of it as I can. I read A Midsummer Night's Dream first. I thought the characters and the plot were pretty poorly developed. I also have no idea how anyone reads Shakespeare without cheating. I found this very cool series that has the original text on one side and the modern English version on the other. There is no way I would have understood half of what I read without it. I was impressed with the sing songy rhythm and rhyme of the play though.
I just finished Hamlet. I liked it a lot but wish I would have had people to talk to about it as I was reading. I think Hamlet was like modern day actors that get so caught up in the "part" they are playing that it gets inside their head. In addition to the modern English version I also read the cliff notes and a brief history of Shakespeare.
I am not sure which play I am going to read next. I am leaning toward Macbeth. My other choice would be Julius Caesar.

I also forgot to mention that I attended a tea party on April 15th. I am making it a goal to get more politically involved. Conservatives need to band together to get their party back and to make our voices heard. We cannot sit idly by while the liberal minority push their agenda on us. We cannot be ashamed to take a stand for what is true and just and right and to stand up for morals and values. I heard a popular local radio host talking about sparring the rod and spoiling the child. He mentioned it in reference to spanking. I am not against spanking by any means but the verse spare the rod spoil the child has little to do with corporal punishment and everything to do with teaching our children the values that come from the scriptures. The rod is the IRON ROD or the Word of God. I actually called into the radio station and let them know what I thought.

Another tea party will be held on July 4th. I will be there to help spread the message that Equal Opportunity is not Equal Distribution. They will be held nation wide. If you would like information on one in your community or on organizing one visit here.
I also encourage everyone to read the preamble to their state constitution. Did you know that all fifty states mention God in their constitution.
Here is North Carolina's
PREAMBLE
We, the people of the State of North Carolina, grateful to Almighty God, the Sovereign Ruler of Nations, for the preservation of the American Union and the existence of our civil, political and religious liberties, and acknowledging our dependence upon Him for the continuance of those blessings to us and our posterity, do, for the more certain security thereof and for the better government of this State, ordain and establish this Constitution.

Remember what Ether said about this land-
For behold, this is a land which is choice above all other lands; wherefore he that doth possess it shall serve God or shall be swept off; for it is the everlasting decree of God. And it is not until the fullness of iniquity among the children of the land, that they are swept off. (Ether 2:10.)
“Behold, this is a choice land, and whatsoever nation shall possess it shall be free from bondage, and from captivity, and from all other nations under heaven, if they will be serve the God of the land, who is Jesus Christ. . . ." (Ether 2:12)

At the Holocaust museum in DC there is a quote that talks about how we need museums like this to help us remember so history doesn't repeat itself. I guess I always question are we really remembering. There is a difference between learning about something and actually keeping it in your remembrance so that it guides the choices you make in your daily life.

*oh and I miscounted this is actually my 99th post! Pressure is still on!

Easter!

I know that my Redeemer lives!!!!! I am so grateful for the knowledge I have of my Savior Jesus Christ. I know that He knows me and loves me and that He suffered so much so that He could help me through the trials and tribulations of this world and so that I could be forgiven of my sins. I know Heavenly Father has a plan for me and that through His Son Jesus Christ I can become everything I am meant to be.
One of my favorite scriptures is in Alma Chapter 7 versus 11 and 12
11 And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.
12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

We had a GREAT Easter weekend and took LOTS of pictures.

Saturday, Brittney and I took Kailyn and Lily to a little petting zoo. It was put on by a Children's Christian Ministry- they taught the kids all about the true meaning of Easter and let them pet the baby animals.

After church on Sunday we took some pictures outside. The weather was soooo perfect.

Allias giving Lily some lovin'

Kailyn in her Eater dress. She and Lily actually matched. Brittney took a few pictures of them together that she is going to post soon.

All the girls! Love love love this picture. We are tooooo cute!

My psycho family. Kailyn is trying to show off her fingernails- Brittney painted them for her.

It has been a long time since I got all three kids in a picture together!

After church the kids got their baskets and Kailyn and Travis painted Easter eggs.

Kailyn's favorite book is The Penderwicks and in one of the books there are two rabbits; Yaz and Carla. She bought "Yaz" with her allowance a month or so ago and the Easter Bunny brought "Carla" today. She was pretty excited. Lily got a "rabbit" too- she named hers Lexi.

HAPPY EASTER!!!!!

Washington DC

My friend and his family were sealed in the Washington DC temple last weekend so Travis and I decided to turn it into a family vacation. It was a trip fof our trip. We decided to leave on Thursday. I took the day off and Travis worked a half day. We both ended up getting about three hours of sleep the night before because Travis was on call and had to work most of the night and then had an early start the next day. There were a couple of little home projects that really needed to get done before we left and so Travis spent Thursday afternoon fixing our fence and installing bolt locks in all (4) of our doors. I think we finally got on the road around 7ish. Allias had totally cleaned out and vacuumed the van for our trip so that was very nice. We stopped at Kroger and got some road food and then ordered pizza from Papa John's for dinner. I was exhausted so I fell asleep. Around ten o'clock Travis woke me up and said he was falling asleep at the wheel and needed me to take over. I don't see well in the dark and since Travis ALWAYS drives when we take road trips together I didn't bring my glasses and I was also very tired but I took over at the wheel. I think my kids were pretty scared. LOL! I kept having to slow down to make sure I was staying on the road and I ended up drinking a couple of energy drinks to stay awake. We finally got to our friends the Evan's house at around 2:30 in the morning. We had never been there before and as we walked in their house (they left it unlocked for us) we were really hoping we had found the right place. I am bummed because we didn't think to bring the camera in and get some pictures while we were there but it was so nice to see them again and catch up and listen to their adorable kids chatter about webkinz and other kiddy stuff. We didn't leave their house until like one in the afternoon on Friday.

( Tyler trying to figure out the parking meter)
We headed downtown and parked. We toured the American History Museum and the Museum of Natural History. I was reminded of how hard it is to please everyone at once and I also decided that vacations with teenagers who would rather be doing anything other then walking around with their parents aren't really that much fun. Tyler ended up walking off on his own several times and every time I happened to bump into him he was with a different group of girls. Travis was getting tired so he headed out to the car. Good thing he did because when he got there we had gotten a hundred dollar parking ticket and a tow truck was on its way to pick us up. We had parked in a place that becomes a lane after 4 o'clock.

( Kailyn on the para sail)

(Trav and the kids getting ready to tour one of the museums)

Driving in DC is an absolute nightmare. There are so many people and cars and noise. I could never live in a place like that. It was way too busy for me. I chewed my fingernails down to nothing and I wasn't even the one driving. The only way to switch lanes is to cut people off and until we figured that out we ended up driving in circles (squares actually) for at least 30 minutes. And the pedestrians just walk or stand in the middle of the road. A group of people hailing a cab will take up a whole lane and everyone has to try and move over into traffic to get around them. It totally stressed me out. By the time we got to our hotel (which was NOT in the city thank goodness) my back and neck were killing me and I was ready for bed. Travis went and picked up some Chinese food and we all ate and then crashed out. Tyler discovered they had computers for public use in the lobby and I think he spent the majority of his vacation on myspace. The next morning we had breakfast at the hotel and then I headed to the temple for my friend's sealing. Our hotel had a Book of Mormon in the drawer along side the bible and it had the phone number and address for the temple so I assumed it would be close. I was pretty excited when I typed the address into my GPS and it said it was five minutes away. The ceremony was beautiful and it was so nice to see how happy Brian and his wife are and to meet their two darling little boys. When Brian got active and his wife was baptized they shared the gospel with some friends of theirs who were then also baptized. The Alexander's have three children and their family was sealed as well. It was sooo awesome to see what the gospel has done for these precious families. The Alexander's eleven year old boy was deeply touched and kept wiping away his tears. There really wasn't a dry eye in the place. The sealing was supposed to be at like 10 I think but their were some technical issues and so I think it ended up happening around 11 or so.

I got back to the hotel at like 12 and we headed back down to DC. We ate lunch at Subway and then we decided to tour the Holocaust museum. It was raining and we didn't have a lot of time since we needed to meet Brian and his family for dinner around 6. It took forever to find a place to park and by the time we started our tour it was 3:30. We didn't get to see the last part of the exhibits which was kind of a bummer but we all were touched by what we did get to see. Again Tyler kind of did his own thing but I don't think he met any girls. We didn't get out of DC until like 5:30 and traffic was pretty much stop and go. I can't imagine what it would look like on a weekday. We arrived in Stafford around 7. Our reservations were for 7:15. We stopped at Ross for a second and Tyler decided to disappear. Travis took the other kids and I to the restaurant and then went back to look for him. After several minutes Travis called me and I told him just to come to dinner. I told everyone at the table that I could bet Tyler would show up. Sure enough he did. We all laughed even though I was slightly stressed out. We had a great time at dinner and then we hung out at the Van Hoven's until late. It was soooo nice to catch up and to get to know Kim better. We had a GREAT time. I always leave places wishing i lived closer or in their case wishing they lived closer to me. I would/could never live up there.

(Travis and I with Brian and Kim and our families)
We were going to go to church in VA on Sunday morning but they were having Stake Conference so we decided to try and fit a few more touristy things in. It was raining again and we couldn't decide what we wanted to do. We stopped and did some shopping at TJ Maxx and then headed downtown. Traffic was terrible and by the time we got down there it was like 1 or 2 o'clock. The kids were being super rowdy in the car and Travis was talking on the phone and not paying attention to the GPS telling him where to go. I was upset and he pulled over and told me to drive. I just decided it was time to go home. It was actually a good thing that I did because traffic was sooooo bad getting out of DC that we spent at least two hours sitting in traffic. We pulled off around 3 and ate some fast food and then we pulled off again to get gas. We ended up getting gas in the same town as we had dinner Saturday night. I think it was around 5 or so when we got there so what should have been a 1 hour drive had turned into around 3 hours. Travis took over driving at that point and we got home around 9. I have decided that the best part about vacations are the time you spend visiting with family and friends. I don't know if you could convince me to go back to DC to sight see. Maybe in better weather where I could just park my car somewhere and walk around but I don't even know about that.

(the ride home)

You can see the rest of our pictures here